The Biggest Realization I Needed To Have Before Truly Loving My Body

What is it that you see when you look in a mirror? What do you look at first?

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Changing Your Dreams And Your Career

When I graduated high school, I wanted to be a journalist and a photographer on the side. Maybe even a photojournalist. I wasn’t sure but all I knew was that I loved writing for the school newspaper and no other career path really intrigued me. So with barely 18 years on this earth, I took the plunge into what I was guessing I wanted to be my career for the rest of my life.

I went through the ups and downs of college and I found that with each passing week I began to hate my choice more and more.  The real world newspaper industry was heavily different from my high school newspaper and I didn’t like what I was doing or what I saw. I did internships in an office setting where I sat from nine to five typing articles. Eventually, my love for words and the way they tasted painfully died and I no longer had any passion for what I once considered an art. MY art.


Then on graduation day, I all but snatched my diploma and ran out of there as fast as I could and vowed to never turn back. I didn’t cry because I would miss my friends or because I just made an incredible accomplishment. I cried because I wouldn’t have to hate what I was doing anymore.  I didn’t want to look at another newspaper again. I didn’t pick up a book for pleasure anymore. My camera collected dust on the shelf.

My parents were confused and upset that all of a sudden I hated my degree, one that I had spent four years and a house’s worth of money for. Did I have a bad teacher? Did I have a really bad experience? Was I raped? Why did I all of a sudden hate the one thing I told everyone I wanted to do?


A month or two after I graduated, I found a kickboxing instructor position. It was a job I was excited about though I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. I started kickboxing when I was a junior in high school and it was always something that I had loved. A few months into this new job and I realized how happy I was. I loved helping people and having a direct effect on their lives. I had a purpose, something I didn’t feel in college.

I decided to turn my life in a whole new direction and go after my personal training license. It was a decision my entire family was weary of and a decision that I was terrified of.

I didn’t care.

I went after it anyway and went full throttle towards my other dreams too. During college, I created His First Mate. This blog was something that was all my own creation. It has helped others and has saved me in its own way. No newspaper editor could trash it or change it. My writing and art was suddenly mine again.

So, every Sunday and Monday I would carry my backpack full of equipment and study the ways of the body and write for my blog. I spent countless hours in the same seat, at the same Starbucks, drinking the same drink but dreaming up all the new and fresh possibilities I now held.

A year flew by and now I’m the assistant manager at my job. Last week, I passed my personal training test. I photograph private events whenever I get the chance. Watching His First Mate grow is like watching your child grow. I created this thing and had no idea what I was doing and then one day I looked down and had this beautiful, ever-growing creation in front of me.

During college, I never thought this happiness was possible. So, take this advice and do what feels right in your life and everything will fall into place. My love for writing and photography has come back full force and has found its own place in my life. I am fulfilled every day I walk into my gym and coach people to becoming better than they were yesterday. And it is all because I followed what felt right for me.

Not what felt right for my teachers in school. Not for my parents or for any of my family or my friends. Just my own personal satisfaction.

Because, you see, life is short. People, young and old, sick or healthy, die every. damn. day. There is no shame in wanting to be a ballerina and an astronaut and then maybe a waitress. The way I see it, there is one life that I am sure of. One chance I have to experience and be everything that I want to experience and be.

Not one person on this earth is going to hold me back from that and no one should hold you back from that either.

Go be what you want and do what you want. If that means quitting your job that is making you unhappy or going back to school for something new then go do that. Maybe that means having three career paths and things that you love. Go live your life and don’t apologize for it.




Minimalism And The Military Girlfriend

I stopped whole heartedly believing in God when my grandma died. I couldn’t understand how a being that apparently loved me so much would rip away one of the most important people in my life and in such a horrific manner at that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I still believe in some Christian teachings and I do believe in a higher power…just not quite sure if it’s what I originally thought “God” to be. I’m not sure I can call myself a full Episcopalian like I once was able to.

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Top Favorite Long Distance Quotes

I have always been fond of words. I like the way they sound….well, some of them at least. I like how there are words to describe really specific feelings, thoughts and emotions. So, naturally, I also happen to like quotes too. My bedroom walls are filled with them. Some I’ve picked up from books, others I stumbled across on the internet and others are things that friends and family have said to me that I felt like I needed to remember.

And wouldn’t you know it! I, of course, have ones about long distance and military relationships. I wanted to share them because they have really helped me out at times and gave some of the best advice and motivation.

1. “Love can not be measured by how long you wait. It’s about how well you understand why you are waiting.”

Some days I feel like this is all just too much. Like life is moving so fast and he isn’t here to see or be apart of any of it. But then I find myself thinking about the future or about what our kids might be like or how I want to decorate or house, etc. and all of a sudden none of the other stuff matters. Focus on what and why you are waiting.

2.”Distance means so little when someone means so much.”

We all get the response, “I have no idea how you do it,” from other people at least once a week. Want to know why I do this? Because I have never met anyone that is so worth it. Distance means absolutely nothing when the end goal is so worth it.

3.”Distance does not ruin a relationship. Doubts do.”

I’m a worrier. I have anxiety. Panic attacks, the whole nine yards. I’ll readily admit that. I find that most of the time when a fight or argument is my fault it is because I was the one that worried myself into it. I created a situation in my head that I had no evidence to back up in the first place.

Learn to stop these thoughts. Recognize when these thoughts are coming up and ask yourself if you really have any solid evidence to back it up. If not, MAKE AN EFFORT to think about something else. Don’t dwell. Easier said than done, I know. But in a long distance relationship this has to be strong.

4.”How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

I will rarely ever use the F word in my writing but…Goodbyes f**king suck to put that mildly. I HATE every second of watching Taylor walk away from me. But I’m also all about being positive. Most people at my age have never even experienced love before…I’ve found mine. How beautiful is that?

5.“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”

This quote explains itself beautifully. You were strong enough to recognize the good in someone and strong enough to be in this type of relationship. Never forget that.

6.”Loving a military man is not hard. The distance is hard, the worry is hard, the sacrifices are hard. But loving him? That’s the easiest thing I have ever done.”

…Always my reply to people who question my relationship in any way, shape or form. Military life is hard. But loving Taylor is effortless.

Have any good quotes you like? Share ’em with me!!


So you want to start a MILSO social media account?

We’ve all seen them and follow them. The Facebook pages for MILSO’s. The Instagram accounts. Twitter. You name it, there’s a social media account for it.

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