Deployment is… a whole mess of emotions that I don’t even have a word for. It was like going through puberty, it was like I was dating a ghost, the beginning, middle and end all had totally different vibes to them.
I know exactly how you feel. You’re standing on your front lawn in your bare feet, the March sun beaming on your head. He’s walking away and all your left with is the Navy shirt that he got when he enlisted and your hand on your lips because he just kissed you for the first time…and last time for the next nine weeks of bootcamp. This moment that you are experiencing right now will be your first memory of being a military girlfriend. And that feeling you are having is going to become a normality in your life. The goodbyes are going to become a regular occurrence.
I was about to start teaching the first kickboxing class of the night when I got a text from Taylor saying, “Guess what?!”. I replied back with the usual, “What??!!” and waited for a response.
I walked up to the small black ledge in the corner of our studio where today’s workout is posted. I placed my phone on the ledge covered with old coffee stains and went to scan over the day’s work out when my phone buzzed.
I grabbed it and looked really quick, curious as to what Taylor was excited about…and then my heart dropped into my stomach.
Not the good kind of dropped either. Like the I’m going to puke kind. The “I really wish I had a time machine so I can go back and choose not to read that” kind.
I placed, or rather tossed my phone, back down on the old coffee stains and turned on to the mat and tried to be as happy and pleasant as I could for the members trying to take class. I didn’t think about what I read.
Holidays are known for couple activities; Ice skating dates, drinking hot chocolate by the fire, going to the city to see the Christmas lights and have dinner and the list goes on. But it’s kind of a strange position to be in during the holidays when you’re a military SO.
Every so often me and Taylor will go through periods of time where literally all we do is fight. Really I think every couple goes through these periods of time every now and then. If you didn’t argue here and there the relationship would not be healthy.
Over the years of many toxic relationships I have gained a little arsenal of ways to effectively communicate things to someone. However, becoming a Navy girlfriend forced me to use the tools I had gained more often. Expressing your feelings and putting in words exactly what you want from someone is rough stuff when you are thousands of miles away. Because of this, I had to learn more tools and ways to express myself that weren’t necessarily how I would’ve handled an argument in a regular old relationship.
Twenty-three is such an eh age to turn. Not twenty-one anymore but not quite old enough to be a full on adult either. But as far as twenty-third birthdays go, I’d say I had the best.