Two months ago, I packed my entire life up into my Honda Civic and drove across the country to finally close this damn distance between Taylor and I. I insisted to my mom, who came along for the ride so I wouldn’t get mugged or kidnapped, that I wanted to drive the entire way. I savored every mile that got me closer to him.
Freaking out is an understatement. I am officially two months out from picking up my entire life, moving it across the country and I am a complete melting pot of emotion. One minute I’m thrilled to move and looking up decorations on Pinterest and ten minutes later I’m driving to work teary-eyed.
I’ve known for quite a while now that I am an anxious person and to combat that, I have to take things slowly, make lists and get shit done one step at a time. I’ve really taken this move as an opportunity to re-create life, get rid of all the clutter, all the old clothes, jobs, memories and things that no longer serve a purpose to my life.
Dress shopping for Sub Ball was so stressful and, when I look back on it, it really didn’t have to be. I spent hours looking through my military girlfriend Facebook groups for advice and I signed out feeling more confused than when I first logged in.
That’s the date I want to finally close the gap between me and Taylor.
Deployment is… a whole mess of emotions that I don’t even have a word for. It was like going through puberty, it was like I was dating a ghost, the beginning, middle and end all had totally different vibes to them.
After T deployed, care packaging got a little more serious. The things I was sending before were, in all honesty, more for my enjoyment than his. It was stuff that he could’ve easily went to Walmart and just got himself. That’s not really the case anymore seeing that hes on a sub these days.