How to Get Back On Your Feet After They Leave

 

You’ve just spent this amazing few weeks with your SO filled with lots of love, companionship, laughter, fun-filled plans and parties. Then no sooner do they get back that you find yourself back at the airport waving goodbye with tear-soaked eyes and a snot-filled tissue in your non-waving hand. Then there is the drive home from the airport that you don’t really remember too much because of all the thinking you have done during that time. Then before you know it, you are standing in the front door of your house and you have no clue what to do.

Sound familiar?

This is always the hardest part. For some odd reason that I will probably never understand, it is always hard to get back into a routine, get back to “normal” life after they leave. Today, I did the whole “see you later” bit at the airport with T and his family and when I got back home I had no idea what I should do. And it’s not like I don’t have a lot to do. I have laundry from this past month, a car to clean, a test coming up that I need to study for, posts I need to write for this website, a shower to take because I need to be at work in a few hours and I should most definitely be at the gym because I haven’t been much lately since he came home… but for some reason that all feels wrong.

More often than not, my advice for someone in this situation would be to keep busy. Do all those things you need to do…but when they first leave is a bit different for me. I actually chose to do none of it.

leaving2

When I got home, I ate a whole pint of Ben and Jerry’s, said hello to my mom and went in  my room and laid down. I looked through all the pictures we had taken in the past month and just let myself be sad.

I didn’t block any of the feelings I was having. I didn’t ignore them or push them out. My advice is to let yourself be sad. Sit with that emotion for a while and acknowledge it but only for a while. My time cap is a day. I will let my heart feel all the emotions and I will act mopey and sad for the whole first day that he is gone.

When I wake up the next morning, I get out of my bed, take a shower, brew up a hefty cup of coffee and make that to do list to get shit done. Of course, I am still sad and upset. I still miss the absolute hell out of him but I also remember that I have important things to do too. Things I need to work on to better my life and my situation.

And, if need be, take getting back to normal life in steps. Start by doing the bare minimum of just going to work everyday. Then once you have that down, start going back to the gym or going to your weekly nail appointments again. Then after that, start making weekend plans to go out with your friends again. Start going grocery shopping or meal prepping or doing whatever bits are a part of your normal routine. These will all build up and soon you will be back to whatever you consider normal life.

Until that point though, it is okay to not be okay. I repeat…it is okay to NOT be okay. It is okay to lay around for a bit and eat Ben and Jerry’s or drink a whole bottle of wine (aren’t we all guilty?). Allow yourself to be sad and upset.

Then pick yourself back up and go be amazing.

 

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