Last week I was supposed to be at Disney World meeting Mickey Mouse for the first time in my life. However, Taylor’s graduation got pushed back so that plan flew right out the window. After that, we planned out this big road trip stopping at all the beautiful places we have always wanted to see before he gets deployed. I got time off from my job and I started making reservations for all the things we wanted to do. Taylor’s leave got pushed back a second time and the whole road trip went out the window….again.
So, fine. Lesson learned. No, more planning trips until some type of leave gets 100% approved. Since the whole United Airlines fiasco, I figured that their airline prices might drop super cheap because they were losing all sorts of money, etc. This time I could plan to go see him! I went to their website and lo and behold, a round-trip ticket to go see Taylor for a day and a half was $265… or so I had thought.
I got my credit card, snuggled up in my bed and got ready to call Taylor to plan out what time I should fly out. I figured out a few good itinerarys and plugged everything in just to see how much everything with tax would be… $404. What the actual hell. The ticket was only $265 for one way but $400 as a round-trip deal.
I am so frustrated with this whole process. I am frustrated that I can’t help Taylor when I know he is going through a hard time being stuck in limbo while all of his friends have moved on to their stations. I am frustrated that I had all these beautiful things to look forward to and big Navy keeps ripping it away every. damn. time.
I can’t even give him a hug. One simple hug. A simple touch that lasts two second. Not even a pat on the back. Nothing. I can’t get an hour to see him. I can’t make him food or make any sort of plans with him and I have never been so frustrated.
But if being a Navy girlfriend has taught me one thing, it’s patience…and how to cuss and swear in the process but I’ve learned patience nonetheless. I’m frustrated and mad. I make mistakes. And that is okay.
It’s okay and valid to feel frustrated about 80% of the time when being in a military relationship. It’s okay to have anxiety or depression or just be plain old grumpy one day because you feel like something has been taken from you. It’s okay (and actually really relieving) to cry sometimes. This is all okay.
And do you want to know the beautiful part? You are going to be okay too. Your SO is going to be okay. No matter what happens things will work out as they are meant to and life will fall into place as it always does.
Realize that your feelings are valid and then also realize that you will be just fine. I am mad and I am frustrated. I can’t ever plan anything or see Taylor ever but he will come home. Maybe not as quickly as I’d like (in the next ten minutes would be wonderful!) but he will come back.
Have good thoughts and good things will come to you.