I’m not exactly sure when I started to feel like everything in my life was falling apart. I don’t know if it was when my family adopted a dog who hates my guts and I felt afraid to walk around my house. Maybe it was when I graduated college and realized that I had a fresh start. I don’t know whether it was when I decided I didn’t want to work for a magazine anymore like I originally planned during my junior year of college. No matter where things began or how they got like this doesn’t really matter, however.
I have always believed that you can’t control what happens in life but you can control how you react to it and especially who you lean on. During these past few months, I have really learned to lean on and create a wide support system. One of my main supports, obviously, being Taylor.
Now this is a little tricky though because most of the love someone feels is from another physically being there. A different place to run to. Someone to go out to dinner or just hangout with to escape whatever problem you are facing. Taylor being 900 miles away makes that somewhat difficult… but there are ways I have found.
1. Save letters, texts and emails.
Whenever I feel down I always re-read letters and texts from Taylor, especially ones with encouraging words and compliments in them. It is always a reminder that there is a person in the world, no matter how far, that loves and supports you. It doesn’t even matter if those encouraging words were from a problem that occurred years ago. Read those encouraging letters, texts and emails as many times as you need too. Pin them on your bathroom wall or in your car’s sun visor to constantly remind yourself.
2. What is better than reading encouraging, happy words?
Well, hearing them of course! If you are able call your SO, of course. Explain your bad day and ask them to tell you something happy. Ask them what they love about you or why they choose to be with you. Ask them what their favorite memory is with you. Ask them to tell you some encouraging words to get you through. Hearing those words can sometimes be more effective than reading them.
If you can’t call them, try saving voicemails. Hearing their voice in general will be a mood booster.
3. Be a hoarder when it comes to your SO’s personal items
I have a lot of Taylor’s shirts. And his blanket. And a mess of stuffed animals he has given me. Whenever I have a bad day, I will go home and immediately put on one of his shirts. Or I will lay in my bed and curl up with the stuffed animals he has bought me and snuggle up in his blanket. Or I will do all three. It’s my way of going home to him.
4. Learn to build yourself a WIDE support system
And I mean wide. I have learned that I should never put all of…well, anything really…into one basket. This simply means that if you put all of your resources, trust, etc. into one person or thing, you may be let down.
So, create a wide support system for when things fail or go wrong. Have friends, rely on your parents and family, your SO, their family, bosses, co-workers, people on Instagram, Facebook. Create the WIDEST array of support for yourself. That way you always have somewhere to turn when your best support is miles and miles away.
Thousands of miles away and there are still ways to draw support from your SO. Just have to be a little creative with how you do it. I think the biggest thing to remember is that distance does not last forever. They will come home. You will go visit. The support will come in a physical way too someday. Maybe the day will come where the longest you’ll have to wait to see them is when their or your shift ends in eight hours…