Why I Refuse To Marry Young

The first time me and Taylor went to a wedding was at the beginning of fall of last year. It was for one of his friends that he had met during school. The wedding was hosted at the bride’s house which was a gorgeous farmhouse. The leaves were starting to change colors and they got married under some willow trees as the sun was setting. Extremely romantic. But from what I learned, they were a few years younger than my 22-year-old self and had only been officially dating for about six months. This kind of shocked me.

No doubt, it was an absolutely beautiful wedding but it made me think. They were so young! They weren’t even dating that long!  Then as I started getting more into the military lifestyle, I noticed that this isn’t uncommon at all. I thought about it for a long time and I came to the conclusion that marrying young wasn’t really that bad. I mean, what’s so terrible about finding the one you want to spend the rest of your life with at a young age? There’s more time together. More firsts together. Actually, doing anything young isn’t so terrible. Having a child is a blessing and a miracle at any age. Moving out of your home is a growing experience. It’s all dependent on how you look at things and how you react.I believe that the success of a marriage has absolutely nothing to do with how young or old one decides to marry.

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Me and Taylor at his friend’s wedding

But there is one simple reason why I will not get married right now; I have absolutely nothing to offer my significant other than a lot of student debt and maybe a thousand dollars of savings money.

You might tell me that I have my love, support and companionship to offer which I would agree with you. But I can offer those to my significant other as his girlfriend. I don’t need a marriage license to love the hell out of Taylor. I also believe that it takes more than just love for a marriage to work.

You might say, well, what about the benefits and discounts that you get with being married in the military? I say those don’t really matter if I’m not making a solid income anyway. If I’m not making decent money with a stable job then I’m going to be poor with or without those nice benefits. So, in my mind, it’s better to wait, go through school, gain experience, get a good job and then marry and enjoy those benefits and that extra cash in my pocket.

Besides that, I still have some growing up to do and some more soul searching before I can truly give my whole self to another. I am pretty confident on who I am as a person but there are still a few things I’d like to explore and need to figure out. I think it’s just as important to give Taylor that time as well.

But don’t get me wrong, I will NEVER judge another couple for marrying young. Marriage is a beautiful thing and for some people getting married young is one hundred percent the right thing to do. I applaud those people. They know what they want and have the courage to go after it. One day I hope to be a Navy wife but for now I am good with being a Navy girlfriend.

 

 

I would love to hear your thoughts on marrying young! I know this can be a touchy subject for a lot of people so please be kind.

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8 thoughts on “Why I Refuse To Marry Young

  1. I really like this post! My Love and I have been discussing marriage (and even a possible elopement before he deploys). This made me think about a lot of things that I hadn’t before. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thanks! Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t mind getting married young if I had life figured out and could stand on my own two feet but I can’t do either yet unfortunately. But if you can, more power to you! Eloping would be absolutely incredible and romantic. Where would you go?

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  2. My sailor and I talk a lot about marriage, we are only 21 and we are scared of getting married to young. Even though we love each other and have figured a lot out we both know that it’ more than just love and the pressure of the military. We need to agree and figure things out before we make a life long commitment to each other. Like you I have student debt. My sailor wants children, I don’t. And these are issues I have seen break marriages apart. Being through 5 divorcees between both parents make me weary about it. But my sailor comes from a family of no divorce so we are both a bit jaded. We are just seeing how things go and are have open communication when we can about it. I think we’ll know the answer when we’re ready.

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    1. Girl, I totally agree. Me and Taylor talk about marriage ALL the time, even though it’s not happening for awhile. Me and you are both still young so it’s okay to not have everything figured out. And because you’ve seen so much divorce it’s also okay to feel like that too. The important thing is that you both love each other and it is working right now. Eventually everything will fall into place and you’ll have a better picture and better feelings on getting married. Open communication is the best possible thing you can do!!! 🙂

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  3. I’m 27 years old and getting married now scares the hell out of me. My boyfriend (Army) and I have talked about it and know it’s in our future together, but not exactly when. We both have decided divorce is not an option, but I too have student loans and am worried about it. Luckily I will (hopefully) graduate nursing school in December and will have a job that can offer flexibility with travel and also be stable, but it is still something I think about. I’ve already told him that even though when we get married legally that debt will be his, I don’t want him to pay a cent of it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me and you seem to be very much alike! Haha. I feel like that too. Taylor always tells me how my school loans will be no big deal and they will become his debt too eventually but I literally don’t want him paying a penny of it. And yeah, figuring out your own work situation and family and all of that is SOOO scary. But it seems like you have a good handle on things. 🙂

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