What It Feels Like To Say Goodbye

Our goodbyes always go the same way and this time didn’t seem any different. I started crying the second we pulled into the airport and he hugs me and tells me it’s all going to be okay and tries to make me laugh. We walked in, checked my luggage and sat in a coffee shop for awhile to pass the time since he wasn’t allowed to wait at the gate with me.

About an hour before my flight, me and T walked towards the security check and of course, the tears started coming. Then we said our goodbyes and I started to make my way towards security. I weaved my way through the maze of ropes and gave the security man my ticket to sign and tried not to look back but I couldn’t help myself. And there he was still watching me leave. He waved a little and blew me a kiss and I blew one back and my heart just broke.

And when I say broke, I mean broke. My heart literally felt like it was being ripped out of my chest and burned. Β I decided that I had to go back. I didn’t care if I missed my flight, I didn’t care that I was hungry or that I had a headache from crying. I just needed to get back to Taylor. It was exactly like a scene from a cheesy, romantic movie. I started crying and looked at the security guard. He was a little older and had dark gray hair with a little patch missing on the top. His demeanor was warm.

“I need to go back. I forgot something.”

He already knew I didn’t forget anything.Β He said in a warm voice that no, that wasn’t possible. He had already signed off on my boarding pass and there was no going back. The tears started to pour and he patted my back as if that would make me feel better.

“Who did you leave behind?”

I wasn’t sure how to reply in that moment. I left behind my best friend. The boy who I can’t live without anymore. The one who I want to someday move in with and marry. The boy who I want to raise my children. The boy who has seen all the ugly and horrible parts of my soul but still loves me anyway. The boy that means absolutely everything in this world to me. There wasn’t a word or a description that really captures all that feeling and emotion. So I looked at the security guy and just said,



6 thoughts on “What It Feels Like To Say Goodbye

  1. While my boyfriend isn’t in the military I know exactly how this feels. I went to study abroad in Italy for four months and saying goodbye to him at the train station felt like my world was crumbling down. It’s a terrible feeling to leave someone behind, especially the one person who makes your mornings brighter and your nights warmer. I know that heart ache where it feels like someone kicked you in the chest because you just can’t be without them anymore. Especially when life kicks in and they’re your go-to to get through it. But everything you feel in this moment, everything that hurts, is just another sign you’re with the right person. Sometimes you have to sit back and think “how lucky am I to have someone I miss so much?” That used to help me. And every day you miss him is one day closer to seeing him again. Wishing you smiles and this kind of love forever!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, well thanks! That definitely brightened my day. And there’s a quote that I love, “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” (I actually think Winnie the Pooh said it. Haha) and what you said reminded me of it. You are 100% right.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh wow this post really moved me, I know I will in this situation in only 2 and a half short weeks. I leave in 2 days to go stay with my bf for only a bit and I know that there will surely be more airport crying. The first time I left him, he wasn’t even able to go to the airport with me so we had to say goodbye in front of a taxi and it was short and terrible and it felt like I was just being ripped away from him (not to mention we had a massive fight the night before I left since emotions are obviously high so I didn’t know where that left our relationship when I got into that car. But I totally relate to this post, having to leave your whole world behind it just isn’t right and hopefully one day neither one of us will have to walk through that terminal departure gate alone again. Such a great post πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! And oh my gosh, I don’t even know how you did that taxi cab goodbye. I can’t even imagine.Goodbyes are literally the worst part of LDRs. But you’re right! Hopefully one day, those goodbyes will only be for an hour to just run to the store or to go to work. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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