Our goodbyes always go the same way and this time didn’t seem any different. I started crying the second we pulled into the airport and he hugs me and tells me it’s all going to be okay and tries to make me laugh. We walked in, checked my luggage and sat in a coffee shop for awhile to pass the time since he wasn’t allowed to wait at the gate with me.
About an hour before my flight, me and T walked towards the security check and of course, the tears started coming. Then we said our goodbyes and I started to make my way towards security. I weaved my way through the maze of ropes and gave the security man my ticket to sign and tried not to look back but I couldn’t help myself. And there he was still watching me leave. He waved a little and blew me a kiss and I blew one back and my heart just broke.
And when I say broke, I mean broke. My heart literally felt like it was being ripped out of my chest and burned. I decided that I had to go back. I didn’t care if I missed my flight, I didn’t care that I was hungry or that I had a headache from crying. I just needed to get back to Taylor. It was exactly like a scene from a cheesy, romantic movie. I started crying and looked at the security guard. He was a little older and had dark gray hair with a little patch missing on the top. His demeanor was warm.
“I need to go back. I forgot something.”
He already knew I didn’t forget anything. He said in a warm voice that no, that wasn’t possible. He had already signed off on my boarding pass and there was no going back. The tears started to pour and he patted my back as if that would make me feel better.
“Who did you leave behind?”
I wasn’t sure how to reply in that moment. I left behind my best friend. The boy who I can’t live without anymore. The one who I want to someday move in with and marry. The boy who I want to raise my children. The boy who has seen all the ugly and horrible parts of my soul but still loves me anyway. The boy that means absolutely everything in this world to me. There wasn’t a word or a description that really captures all that feeling and emotion. So I looked at the security guy and just said,